Can we talk about kids sports?
As I watch the Olympics closing ceremony, my thoughts turn to the next generation of athletes.
It’s unlikely that you know this about me, but I used to be a competitive swimmer. Over the years, I won many medals, qualified for National Championships, represented Wales and Great Britain at international events and even qualified for the Olympic trials in 2000.
Essentially, I was very good but not Olympic level good.
When I was a child, I vividly remember watching the 1992 Barcelona Games. It was then that I decided I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer, equestrian or gymnast - at that time (aged 9), I had the overconfidence of a child who fully believed they could achieve it all!
It wasn’t until a few years later than I gave up all other sports to focus on swimming. It became my life until 18. I spent upwards of four hours a day training; I sacrificed a social life and any other hobbies that I was interested in.
Over the past two weeks, I’ve watched my own children glued to the screen, cheering on the athletes and already dreaming about what they want to win gold in. In the garden, they play ‘The Olympics’ and create obstacle courses. Only time will tell if they eventually go on to achieve sporting success.
In some ways, I feel it inevitable that my children might turn to competitive sport. Whilst I was a swimmer, their dad was a golfer who almost went pro in his teens. My own dad was a blackbelt in judo who later coached some of the British champions, his father before him a boxer.
I’m not actually one to show off achievements at all. But I do hope that my own experiences in sport qualify me to talk about the ups and downs of pursuing athletic dreams.
Like many people worldwide, I’ve loved the Paris Olympics. I’ve witnessed edge-of-my-seat competition, incredible sportsmanship and a few laughs along the way too.
What I’ve particularly loved is seeing women of different ethnicities, ages and sizes competing at the very top of their respective sports. I was in awe of the mothers competing as it highlighted that sport doesn’t have to be over when you have kids. This healed something in me that I didn’t know needed to be healed.
And like many parents worldwide, I can’t help wondering whether I might one day stand in an Olympic stadium cheering on one of my own.
And for that reason, I feel called to address the ups and downs of competitive sport for kids.
The Good Part
Even though I never reached the very pinnacle of my own sport, being a competitive swimmer for several years taught me to be self-motivated and highly organised. I had to be in order to navigate school, homework and swimming - and I always scoffed when the football players made one night of training an excuse for not turning in homework!
In my teens, I travelled all over the country and made friends of different backgrounds. The girls on my own team were close friends and we had a fantastic team spirit which made us one of the best relay teams in the country.
Winning gold medals did wonders for my self-esteem. I was bullied throughout secondary school and if it wasn’t for my sporting success (and my teammates), I don’t know how school would’ve turned out.
Staying fit has remained important to me throughout my adult life. Whilst I am not at a competitive level in anything now, I do like to keep active and it really helps my wellbeing.
The Bad Part
Please be advised of a trigger warning for child abuse and eating disorders in this section
Kid’s sports do have a darker side and whilst I like to think that things have changed, the Athlete A documentary on Netflix also highlights how prolific child abuse is.
When I reached the top squad, I was subject to being weighed and measured on a monthly basis. Puberty caused weight gain and as a result, I was told I was too fat. This resulted in disordered eating and bulimia which I didn’t fully get over until I became a mother for the first time. That’s partly why I’ve really loved the Paris Olympics because it’s really highlighted that elite athletes don’t have to be stick thin.
Later on, a new coach arrived to much fanfare. As a teen, I noticed how strange his behaviour was around the male swimmers. Later on, he was convicted of child abuse. This event in particular has made me very wary of clubs for kids and whilst I know it isn’t a fail safe, I always check for an up-to-date DBS.
And of course, there is the cost to think of. I am an only child, but I know that even in the late nineties, swimming was an expensive sport. The better I got, the more expensive things became. The latest ‘must have’ speedo swimsuit, hotel costs and membership fees must have been difficult for my parents.
When I hung up my goggles, I really struggled with my own identity. Who was I without swimming? I had spent my whole life being known as ‘the swimmer’ but the adjustment to normal life was difficult.
What to look for in a sports club for kids:
If your child has been inspired by the Paris Olympics - wonderful! Overall, I loved my experience as a competitive swimmer and I would do it again if I had the opportunity.
I believe that sport is ultimately changing for the better so you should absolutely let your child try out for teams if you are able to.*
Usually, you have the opportunity to trial a class before you sign up and pay fees, so pay attention to the following:
class size
all costs involved - including kit outlayÂ
communicationÂ
timings
how the coach deals with behaviourÂ
DBS checks (or your country’s equivalent)
closed door policiesÂ
Class Size
There’s a reason why a lot of classes have a limit on the number of children. If a class size gets too big, then it’s very difficult for a coach to keep an eye on both progression and behaviour.Â
I recently trialled my son with a football team, but ultimately dismissed it because of the group sizing. There were 30+ children, one coach and one teenage volunteer. The coach set up mini matches for the kids, but wasn’t dividing time fairly between the pitches, so a lot of coaching opportunities got missed. Ultimately I would’ve been paying for my child to run around for an hour and we decided to look elsewhere.
So pay attention to how much coaching time your child is getting. If there are too many children in the class (and no support), then it’s very unlikely that your child will get any individual instruction or advice.Â
CostÂ
Let’s be honest, kids sports today are rarely run on a voluntary basis. If you sign up your child to an activity, you are also committed to monthly payments, additional costs for kit and possibly travel / hotel payments if your child starts competitive sports. This can get expensive, quickly!
Don’t be pressured into signing up for something immediately after the trial session. Run the numbers and check you are able to afford monthly outgoings. Talk to your child about whether they want to commit to weekly sessions. Explain that they need to properly commit for at least one term.Â
*If cost is an issue, try local government run classes and grass roots initiatives. Whilst venues might not be state of the art, they often provide links to local clubs.
CommunicationÂ
Poor communication from clubs is a deal breaker for me, particularly if they are taking my money! I recently had a situation where I had to chase payment confirmation from a club. With all of the automated systems available today, the very least a club can do is send a generic email!
TimingsÂ
Club timings need to be consistent. I recently decided against a club where the timings changed on a weekly basis. I have three children and many commitments therefore I wasn’t prepared to be at the beck and call of a coach each week.
Have a real think about your own commitments too. Are you able to get your child to clubs every single week? Are you prepared for a more intense schedule if they start getting good?
Take into account travel time too. It’s not just a case of turning up at 5pm but all of the prep, driving and organisation both before and after a session. Because of this, I opt for clubs that are as close as possible to my home.
How the coach / club deals with childrenÂ
Coaches hold a lot of power and they can really make or break a child’s enthusiasm for sport.Â
Just like good teachers, a good coach will be able to control the behaviour of the class and motivate without resorting to shouting and screaming.
Whilst some aspects are harder to judge from one session, such as whether the coach has clear favourites, pay attention to general attitudes. I personally look out for the following:
Is the coach welcoming?
Do they check in with your child? (Particularly important if your child is joining an established group)
Do they spend a fair amount of time with children in the group or do the favour one or two
Safety, DBS Checks and Child Protection PoliciesÂ
I cannot stress enough how important this is. I live in the UK, where DBS checks are required for people working with children. If this information isn’t offered freely, don’t be afraid to ask. If you live in a different country, look for an equivalent police check.
Whilst I know parents can be a bit of a pain during lessons, I’m very wary of closed door policies.
During my children’s swim lessons, I watch them like a hawk. Even with a ratio of 1:5, I know that incidents can happen. A few months ago, I read an article where a mother had to rescue her drowning child because the instructor hadn’t noticed a problem.
Add your own experiences:
Did you compete in sport as a child or teen? What was your own experience like? Or does your own child compete at a serious level? Share your advice below: