PSA: You don't have to entertain your child all summer long!
How to get through the 6 weeks of summer
It’s almost 5pm on the first day of the summer break. Here is a list of all of the activities I’ve planned for my three children today:
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Nope, that is not a typo. I have not planned anything at all for today. It’s not because I’m lazy or forgot that it was the summer holidays either.
It’s because I’m giving them the chance to decompress fully after a emotional and exciting week at school. I loosely define this as ‘unschooling’ and it acts as a small circuit breaker before heading on into our summer holiday rhythm.
Today my children have made potions, played with Connetix tiles, drawn pictures and yes, watched a little tv too. It has been a thoroughly chilled out day for them whilst I got started on renovating a bookshelf.
At no point did they complain of boredom, nag for yet more snacks or whine to watch more tv.
And I promise I’m not trying to show off. They don’t actually ever complain of boredom because we have our daily rhythm locked down.
But that wasn’t always the case.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I’m a huge fan of establishing simple family rhythms.
Family rhythms have helped us stay connected, become intentional and get organised. For me, adopting a family rhythm came from a place of desperation. I had just become a mother for the third time and I was completely and utterly overwhelmed.
Whilst I loved being a mother to three, at that time I struggled to balance everything. My eldest son was at school and my daughter was an energetic toddler. I fluctuated between days of non-stop activities and days where I did absolutely nothing. There was too much screen-time and no consistency.
Something had to change.
And that’s when I started to introduce a family rhythm.
Family Rhythms
A family rhythm can be introduced at any time of year, however I personally think that the summer holidays are and excellent opportunity to get started. This is because they enable you to bring structure to your summer holiday without it becoming overwhelming.
In this article, we’ll focus on the four distinct phases of the summer family rhythm.
The Four Phases of the Summer Holiday Rhythms
Whilst the summer holiday is typically 6 weeks long in the UK - and much longer in other parts of the world - I prefer to break down the summer into four distinct phases.
Unschooling
Summer at Home Rhythm
Holiday / travel rhythm
Back to School Rhythm
This approach has helped me to plan summer in a way that remains relaxed. I won’t go as to say that out summer is completely stress-free,
Phase 1: Unschooling
Duration: 2-3 days to 1 week
The end of the school year can be bizarre. As a former teacher, I know that the last few days of term are filled with exciting events such as sports day, an end of year performance disco and summer fete.
However, it’s a mistake to think that children aren’t doing much during this period. Whilst usual lessons might’ve disappeared, it can be an incredibly emotional time of year. Saying goodbye to teachers and some classmates is tough and can be emotionally draining.
That’s why, during the first few days of the school holidays, I fully recommend taking an ‘unschooling’ approach.
In education terms unschooling technically means a child-led approach where children learn what they want to. In this context, unschooling means taking a break from rigid scheduling. This might look like:
Getting up later / Going to bed later
No scheduled activities
A ‘Slow Sunday’ approach
Phase 2: Summer at Home Rhythm
Duration: 2 to 4 weeks (can be swapped with phase 3)
This is the heart of summer. In likelihood, this will be the phase with the longest duration. It is also the phase that is the most difficult to navigate. This is where you might feel pressured to spend a lot of money on exciting events or worry that you aren’t doing enough.
During this period, you might still be working yourself or have children booked into summer holiday clubs. However, for the most part, your children will be at home with you.
This is the phase of summer where I fully recommend implementing a daily or weekly rhythm.
Daily Rhythm
When creating a daily rhythm, try to make the flow of each day more or less the same. It is not a strict timetable with set timings for activities. Having a specific flow to your days also helps your children understand what’s happening when.
When I introduced a daily rhythm, my children stopped nagging for screen-time because they understood exactly when they could have it and when it was time to do something else.
The key ingredients are:
connection time
plenty of PLAY
outdoor time
reading
invitation to play / create or practical life activity (such as baking)
Weekly Rhythm
Planning out a weekly rhythm will help you to avoid overwhelm. Having set days for activities and events means that you can maintain a more balanced week, rather than having several events on one day and nothing at all on the next.
A weekly rhythm also helps you to get intentional about the activities you are doing so that you can give them your full focus. This is particularly relevant during the summer holidays so that you can avoid having one intense week followed by nothing.
Example Summer holiday weekly rhythm:
Monday - forest school
Tuesday - library day
Wednesday - baking day
Thursday - craft day
Friday - play group day
Saturday - hiking with family
Sunday - rest
You can find out more about how create a daily or weekly rhythm here:
Unless you are already familiar with family rhythms, I recommend that you choose either a weekly or daily rhythm for now. And if this all feels like too much, try the ‘just one thing’ approach - there’s more on that later on in the email.
Phase 3: Holiday / Travel Rhythm
Duration: 2 to 4 weeks (can be swapped with phase 2)
Whilst travelling with kids can indeed be a magical experience, be under no illusion that it is somehow different from everyday life.
Unfortunately, the days of relaxed holidays where you sit by the pool and sip cocktails are long gone when you have little children in tow. If anything, holidays with children are intense. You’re dealing with the same things that you would at home, but with the added challenge of not knowing where everything is and not having everything you usually would to hand.
One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to start thinking of your holiday as a ‘trip’ so that you get into the right mindset.
Where possible, try to stick to familiar cornerstone points in your day. If you have a daily rhythm think about what elements you could keep the same whilst on holiday without everything becoming too rigid.
For example: having a bath/shower, followed by a story before bedtime or having breakfast, getting ready and then going outside for an adventure.
Phase 4: Back to school Rhythm
Duration: 2-3 days to 1 week
As summer winds down, the focus shifts towards preparing for the new school year ahead. It’s an opportunity to reintroduce more structured routines and create a sense of readiness for the upcoming academic year.
If your child is starting school soon, I have a whole ‘Starting School’ series as part of my paid membership.
Over on my website, This Playful Home, you can find out more about creating gentle before and after school rhythms:
What to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed
If you feel overwhelmed at any point, adopt the ‘just one thing’ approach. This has served me well throughout my own parenting journey. So if planning out a rhythm for the entire summer feels like too much right now, try changing one thing to make the summer holidays run smoother.
Here are some ideas that you might want to consider:
Dial in the Morning Rhythm
Perfecting the morning rhythm can make all the difference to how the rest of the day flows.
If you missed the free subscriber guide when you first signed up to How I Drink my Coffee Hot, you can access it here:
Plan one intentional activity per day
Set the intention to do one activity each day. This could be as simple as going to visit the local park, arranging a play date or baking a cake.
This is essentially a low-key version of a weekly rhythm!
Celebrate the Simple Things
Children see things so differently to us. What might seem utterly mundane to us is really magical through a child’s eyes.
Ideas to consider:
A picnic in the garden
Making an excuse for a celebration - e.g. a favourite teddy’s birthday
Slow Sundays
Movie marathon
Coming Soon
I’m in the process of revamping and reorganising all of the original email series to make them easier to navigate. Look out for more information on this next week.