The simple power of Family Routines and Rituals

5 benefits of establishing family routines and rituals

Whilst the word ‘ritual’ might bring with it connotations of witches and magic, rituals in everyday family life are far more mundane that that. In fact, I’d wager that you already have some rituals in place - you might just not realise that they are rituals.

Family rituals go hand in hand with your family values , your daily routines and your family rhythms. They are another part of the fabric that makes your family unique.

But first, what’s the difference between routines and rituals?

While the terms ‘routine’ and ‘ritual’ are often used interchangeably, there are some key differences between the two.

A routine is a set of actions that you perform regularly as part of your daily or weekly schedule.

For example, waking up at the same time every day, exercising at a certain time, or checking emails first thing in the morning can all be considered routines. Routines are often established for practical reasons, such as to save time, increase efficiency, or create structure in our lives.

A ritual is a set of actions that are performed with intention and purpose. Rituals often have a symbolic or spiritual significance and are designed to create a sense of meaning or connection.

For example, lighting a candle before a meditation practice, saying grace before a meal, or performing a specific set of movements before a sports game can all be considered rituals.

While both routines and rituals involve a set of actions that are repeated regularly, the key difference lies in their intention and purpose. Routines are often established for practical reasons, while rituals are designed to create a sense of connection or meaning. In other words, a routine is a habit that helps us get things done, while a ritual is a meaningful practice that helps us connect with ourselves, others, or a higher power.

changing the perpetual calendar is part of our morning ritual

The research of Barbara H Fiese

Barbara H. Fiese is a psychologist who has conducted extensive research on the importance of family routines and rituals. Her research has shown that both routines and rituals can be beneficial for families in different ways.

According to Fiese, routines can help to create a sense of stability and predictability in children's lives, which can in turn reduce stress and anxiety. When children know what to expect each day, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed or uncertain. Routines can also help to promote healthy habits, such as regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, and getting enough sleep.

In contrast, rituals are important for creating a sense of connection and meaning in families. Fiese notes that rituals can help to strengthen family bonds, promote a sense of belonging, and create a shared sense of identity. When families engage in rituals together, they create memories and experiences that can be cherished and remembered for years to come.

Fiese's research has also shown that both routines and rituals can be beneficial for children's development. For example, children who have regular mealtime routines with their families are more likely to have better nutrition and higher academic achievement. Similarly, children who participate in family rituals, such as celebrating holidays or participating in religious practices, are more likely to have a positive sense of identity and stronger family relationships.

Overall, Fiese's work highlights the importance of both routines and rituals in promoting healthy family functioning and child development. By establishing regular routines and engaging in meaningful rituals, families can create a sense of structure, stability, and connection that can benefit everyone involved.

Fiese also wrote a book on the subject entitled ‘Family Routines and Rituals.’

5 benefits of families having routines and rituals:

Creates a sense of stability and predictability:

Routines can help to create a sense of stability and predictability in children's lives. When children know what to expect each day, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed or uncertain. This can help to reduce stress and anxiety and promote a sense of security.

Promotes healthy habits:

Routines can help to promote healthy habits, such as regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, and getting enough sleep. When you establish regular routines around these activities, they are more likely to become habits that your children carry with them into adulthood.

Strengthens family bonds:

Rituals can help to strengthen your family bonds by creating shared experiences and memories. When you engage in rituals together, they create a sense of belonging and connection that can help to build stronger relationships.

Enhances children's development:

Both routines and rituals can be beneficial for you child's development. Children who have regular mealtime routines with their families are more likely to have better nutrition and higher academic achievement. Similarly, children who participate in family rituals are more likely to have a positive sense of identity and stronger family relationships.

Provides opportunities for communication and connection:

Routines and rituals can provide opportunities for you to communicate and connect as a family. Mealtime routines, bedtime routines, and daily check-ins can all be opportunities for parents and children to share their thoughts and feelings and strengthen their relationships.

Journal Prompts

• What are some of your favourite memories from your own childhood? Did your family have any rituals or traditions that you particularly enjoyed? How might you adapt or create similar rituals with your own family?

• What are some of the values and beliefs that are important to you as a family? How might you incorporate these values into your family rituals?

• What are some of the challenges that your family faces on a daily basis? How might you use rituals to help alleviate some of these challenges and create a sense of predictability and stability in your family life?

• What are some of the activities or experiences that you enjoy doing together as a family? How might you turn these activities into regular rituals that you can look forward to and enjoy together?

• How might you involve your children in the process of creating and implementing family rituals? What are some of their ideas and suggestions for rituals that they would like to incorporate into your family life?