Playdate panic? 5 Ways to make playdates successful
Tips For Hosting A Stress-Free Playdate At Home
Ahh playdates! We know that they are great for our children, but they can sometimes be stressful. Now that the world is opening up again it does feel like there are more opportunities for children to socialise outside of a school setting.
And since it is the Autumn half-term in many parts of the world, there’s a high chance that you’ll either be hosting a play date or going to one.
I certainly feel like this is the case for us. My daughter (6) hasn’t been on many playdates because of the pandemic, but in recent months, not a week goes by where we haven’t had a park meet-up, playdate or invitation to a party.
The pros and cons of hosting playdates
Playdates are beneficial for children because they can secure the bonds of friendship and help socialisation skills. They are also a great way for your children to play (screen-free) without you having to worry about entertaining them. As an added bonus, they can be relatively low-cost - or free!
On the downside, playdates can come with added elements of stress, along with the occasional curve-ball. Your child might get over-excited and emotional. Hosting playdates after-school can result in over-tired children. Whilst on a weekend, you might feel obliged to pack in the entertainment.
My advice? Keep playdates simple and short. Here’s 5 tips that will help you achieve this.
5 Tips For Hosting A Stress-Free Playdate
1.Prepare
First things first, you need to establish whether the parent of the child intends to stay – sometimes assumptions can be made about this and you can be left hosting a parent as well as a child. This more commonly happens if it’s the first playdate.
Once you know how many people you are hosting, check any requirements upfront. If, for example, the child has a nut allergy then it’s really important to know this in advance. When one of my daughter’s classmates visited after school a few weeks, I emailed her mum to ask if there were any dietary requirements or other concerns that I might need to know about.
Whilst we don’t have a dog, it’s useful to let people know if you have a pet, just in case the child is scared or allergic.
Recently I invited a new mum friend and her daughter over for a morning playdate. Since my friend is pregnant, I checked to see if we had plenty of caffeine free drink options available.
On the day, try to get any snacks and play invitations prepared upfront so that everything is ready for the play date itself.
Useful questions to ask:
Will you be staying with your child?
Does your child have any dietary requirements or allergies I need to know of?
We have a pet. Is your child scared of cats/ dogs etc?
Is there anything else I might need to know?
2. Show
When the child arrives, let them know where the amenities are – the closest bathroom is important. Young children often feel shy about asking to go to the toilet, particularly if you don’t know them all that well.
Also be clear on the areas that both children can go: the play space, your child’s bedroom and the garden for example. Kids can often get curious during playdates and play in places that would usually be out of bounds.
As my husband often works from home, I’ve taken to locking the home office door during playdates!
Don’t be afraid to stick to your usual ‘at home’ rules. Children can learn a lot by visiting different homes for playdates.
For example, taking outdoor shoes off in the hallway or washing hands before dinner.
3. Simple Invitation To Play Or Create
At some point during the playdate, your child and their guest might be stuck for ideas. This is where an invitation to play or create can be introduced.
Keep this really simple until you know the guest child well enough. Play dough is a good choice because it allows for plenty of creative exploration.
For my daughter and her friends, I’ve also set up bead making stations and art collage invitations which have been great fun.
To keep mess minimal, avoid paints or messy sensory play activities (gloop, slime etc). You don’t want the added stress of trying to keep your child’s guest clean!
4. Avoid Organising Everything
Whilst it is a good idea to have one activity to hand, avoid organising all aspects of the playdate and let the children play! Having a play space with open-ended toys is one way to encourage this along with plenty of time outside.
On shorter playdates, keep the screens out of sight. One of the main aims of a playdate is to help your child interact and socialise with other children – they cannot do that very well if they are watching screens.
If things get flat and the children don’t know what to do, direct them towards the invitation you’ve created or bring the snacks out so that there is a new focus.
5. Keep It Short
Be very clear on how long the play date will last. I recommend no more than 2 hours after school – this is ample time for children to have a snack and play together. Any longer than this and children can start to get really tired, especially if the playdate comes after a long day at school or preschool.
Some parents can be a little blasé with pick up times so if you need to, explain that you have another appointment so that they do stick to the recommended times! From experience, I found that the more you let late pick-ups slide, the more parents will take advantage of it.
Share your own playdate tips
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